Mentors come in different shapes & sizes

The topic of mentoring is an issue of demand and supply, as well as the mentored person him or herself. Everyone wants one, few have one and fewer yet are ready for one. My husband recently reminded me of a saying that is ancient yet very appropriate here: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”. Most of us proclaim we are more than ready, often feeling resentful when the teacher does not appear as timely as we feel they should. Something to keep in mind when searching for a mentor is that you have to be ready.

“Ready” means being:

• Humble
• Receptive and open-minded
• Interested
• Passionate
• Curious

I mention being humble for several reasons; in order to learn anything you must accept that you don't know everything. A great example of this is Mitch Albom's "Tuesdays With Morrie", an incredible story about a successful journalist, an old man and learning life skills. My favorite mentor and one whom I attribute a great deal of my personal success to, was an incredibly difficult teacher. "Tough Love" does not come close to describing his approach to mentoring me. I was in my early 20s and arrogant to boot. Ken took me under his wing, "broke me down" (sounds awful but it's effective) in order to build me up and then gave me a foundation to stand on my own two feet in business. I've been lucky enough to have several mentors since then, all with their own twist on things and with their own unique approach. However, as different as each of my three mentors have been, there is a common red thread; there was no sugar coating, no pampering of ego and no silk gloves. I miss that.

On a final note ... be open to the fact that your mentor may not take the shape and form of a silver-haired, all-knowing zen master look-a-like. Sometimes the best mentors are simply those that you respect, whose advice you value and whose direction is proven. Age can play a factor but a good mentor is really more about being wise than old. With maturity comes wisdom, with wisdom comes leadership. Since true leadership is earned and not awarded many fantastic mentors might be informal leaders; not in title but in spirit. Seek out those in your organization whom you respect and the rest will follow.